During your days of work or recreation do you think to yourself “I should be doing something else”. But not quite sure what the something else is.
Your alarm goes off, and immediately you start thinking about the day ahead of you. You think of all the responsibilities that you have at work, the tasks you know you must get done for the day: the kids, the meetings, and the list goes on. Your mind starts to race and you wonder can I get it all done today. Then you move into compiling list of the shoulds for the day: you should get a workout in, you should clean your house, you should call your friend, you should choose healthy meals
for the day, you should read tonight instead of watch TV etc.. You eat your breakfast, if you have time, barely noticing what you’re eating and you’re out the door. You start to think to yourself I should’ve got up earlier, so I could get a workout in. I should have had something
healthier for breakfast.
When you get to work, you spend your day at work thinking about the next thing on your task list; instead of truly focusing in on what you are doing at that moment. You start to think about: is this is the right job for me, am I in the right position, am I really living up to my potential, can I get the next thing done on my list, is this really the best way to do what I’ m doing, should I be more social at work. On and on it goes for the rest of your day, you’re one or two steps ahead of yourself and you don’t feel satisfied by what you are doing. It seems you are always questioning and second-guessing yourself and your choices. Then, after the morning break, you had to take, because your exhausted from worry, you decide you’re going to try to take control of your workday, you open your email and there is a plethora of old and new messages asking for your attention; you quickly go through them and get a picture of what you need to get done right now. But where do you start? You begin one task from a email but then quickly have the urge to see if there’s something else more important you should be doing. This problem repeats itself every time you sit down with one thing, the dozens of others on your mind and many potential urgent items that might be coming in as you sit there, are taking for your attention. Is there ever any certainty that you’re doing the right thing right now? Does the worry that you should be doing something else ever go away.
When we were kids, most of us had someone to tell us what to do, like a parent or teacher, who would give us a chore or an assignment and we knew this was what we should be doing. It wasn’t always what we wanted to be doing (Smile). But there wasn’t any doubt about what we should be doing because it was all mapped out for us. Then we became adults, things were not so clear. We became the boss of ourselves and the reality that we have the ability to choose between a bunch of task and projects and communication tools. Not to mention having to do personal stuff like laundry and cooking and picking up the kids. We’re making choices all day long, with no one to tell us that these choices are correct. We see other people who seem to be productive and imagine them to be solid in their choices, always sure that they are doing the right tasks. This is an illusion no one is ever free from worry. We all have the desire not to mess up or to do the perfect thing and we all have the fear that our desired outcome, won’t happen. This dynamic is present and often unnoticed most of the time, present as background noise, nagging and urges us to be doing something else. However, we often forget that mistakes are a wonderful opportunity for us to learn. There’s a quote by Winston Churchill, which illuminates the beauty of making mistakes and failing. The quote goes something like: success is not final, failure is not fatal it’s the courage to continue that counts. perhaps the worry we carry deep down is that we won’t find the map and the courage to continue on.
So how do we get the tools to reduce the stress of worry? A solid plan for yourself is one way to begin to feel more confident. When is the last time you took a few breaths and remembered your dream or vision of yourself? Do you have a vivid mental picture of your dream? Do you remember your values, you have about yourself, your work, and your communications? How are your values interwoven into your daily activities? When’s the last time you examined your goals, ensuring your goals promote your vision for yourself? Do most of your daily activities support the accomplishment of your goals? LUV Solutions, offers a tool in the form of an online guide: Our guided course assist you in getting back in touch with your dream, your values, your goals and mapping daily actions to support your goals. The guide is straightforward easy to follow and generally takes about an hour to complete. Start your course here
In addition the following are offered as a Zen approach to deal with worry
Shine the light of awareness: notice the worry as you sit down to do a task or contemplate what task you’re going to do next it’s the worry is there in the background turn your attention to it and just notice it don’t fear it don’t hate it don’t worry about it just notice.
Make worry your friend: it’s always there, and will always be there with you. Don’t fear it, don’t try to kill it. Instead, give it a hug. Embrace it except it. Get use to it you’re together for the long haul.
Welcome it along on an important task: pick one task to do now. It can be anything, but you something that feels important to your life or work. Something you know that will help others and yourself. There might be a bunch of them, so just choose quickly on a gut instinct. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be the perfect task. Notice the worry coming along with you. It’s okay. Put your arm around it shoulder, and go along the path together, happy in your newfound friendship.
Set an intention to stick with the task: before you actually start the task, make an agreement with your friend worry. You’re going to stick with this task, at least five minutes, without switching or following the urge to check other things. For these wonderful five minutes, you’ll be sure of one thing; you will do this task, no matter if it’s the perfect task or not. Focus on this one task, and be sure you’re going to stick with it.
The worry will come, notice it, smile, embrace it like the friend you have whose always doing crazy things, and then stick with the task you’ll be fine. It’ll be great. If you follow these steps you’ll get the task done and then breathe and smile. Be triumphant in your accomplishment.